It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
