Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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