people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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