I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
