i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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