How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
