Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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