Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize