I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize