I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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