Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
