It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
