I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
