so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
handjob tips. give me some.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
