So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
