I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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