She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
