My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
