I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
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About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.