life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
