I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
