Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
