all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
