Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize