I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
only if we run a train.
done.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
