hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
