Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize