i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
