dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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