I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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