Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
