oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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