You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize