what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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