What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ketchup is God's man juice
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
