TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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