Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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