He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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