He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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