loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
