Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize