I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
