you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
