i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize