you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
