All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
