So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
