Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
