would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My balls are so social today.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
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Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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