I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
