every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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