Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
