The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
