i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
