Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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