You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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