Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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