I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
