It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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