Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
