Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
